"Silver Lining" A Forever Knight Story Copyright 1996 by Marcia Tucker =0D Content: Some m/m physical contact. Nothing too graphic. Time: Directly after the tag of "Night in Question." Rationale: How some members of the Unnamed Faction might have wished the= episode to end... =0D Nick perched on the stool beside LaCroix, folding his hands on the bar, = watching him expectantly. The elder vampire did not speak yet, pouring a= glassful for his visitor, setting it over beside him. Nick looked at th= e offering, then, after a moment, picked it up and took a drink. Not a s= ip. "Thanks," he murmured, wondering if he should have refused it. Nick = did not need his memory to know what was in this glass. Natalie had seem= ed to think that he didn't drink human blood anymore. It was, of course,= delicious, delicately enhanced with wine. "Where to begin, Nicholas?" LaCroix said at last. He kept his face impa= ssive, the hope reserved. His beloved son, he knew, wasn't exactly a tab= ula rasa, a clean slate, but there was the potential he could influence h= im in a particular direction. When Nicholas came into the Raven minutes = before, he'd felt a rush of warmth. Nicholas had come to *him*. How muc= h did he remember? And could all of his memory even return? What if... "I have a few questions," Nick was saying, then that small smile returne= d. "I have a lot of questions. I hardly know where to start, either. B= ut... okay... you said we have a special relationship. That you were my = oldest friend. And that's why I came to you - you're like me, aren't you= ?" It was like eight centuries had dissolved away between them. Seeing the= naked hope and trust in Nicholas's eyes was nearly unbearable, the innoc= ent regard of the 35-year-old Nicolas de Brabant that LaCroix had so fall= en in love with so many years ago. The openness in his mind was even a s= weetness LaCroix feared to invade, but must, oh, he must. The opportunit= y was too inviting to miss. "Yes, Nicholas, I= , too, am a vampire. And our relationship is unique in all the world." Nick looked into the depths of the other's grave blue eyes, wondering. = He felt... *something*... when in the presence of this man. Had felt it = in the loft, and it tingled within him now, a slight warming sensation in= his veins. "Tell me - and... I don't even know your name." LaCroix reached and placed his hand gently on the other's arm. "Lucien = LaCroix. I am your father, Nicholas. I brought you across." Unconsciously Nick had moved his own hand to cover the other's. "Father= =2E.. you're my... father?" There was an awe to his voice that was so b= eautiful that it hurt. "I am far more than that. You feel that, don't you?" Nick nodded. "A.. connection between us. I felt it at home and I felt = it again as soon as I walked in here." "You are so much more than my child, Nicholas. You are my brother - my = protege. My..." He halted, fearing to go too far, to yet frighten off th= is skittish fawn. He glanced down at their hands, and shifted his to cla= sp the other. Something profound was at work in Nick, something stronger than the warm= th he'd felt toward Natalie yesterday. Something at once old and new. S= omething once lost perhaps and seeking to be found yet again. Nothing in= his few splintered memories explained this. It was all feeling -strange= , yet reassuring. = The clear, blue eyes widened at the words. "Your what, Lucien?" he aske= d, childlike. = = LaCroix, feeling the firmness of his hand, hearing his own name upon th= e other's lips, longed to risk, ached for the warmth and healing he knew = was there waiting in the arms of his son. = It was too much to hope for. If Nicholas's memories came back, he would= despise him for this intrusion. He gave the hand a last squeeze, releas= ed it. "You do not remember. I should not want to take advantage of you= r innocence, Nicholas." The regret was thick in his throat. "Also, I fe= ar you will not remember me so kindly." The blue eyes narrowed, regarding him closely. "You saved my life in th= e hospital. You left nourishment for me. You did try to tell me somethi= ng of what I am - Natalie didn't tell me anything and I nearly burned in = the sun." LaCroix sighed. "She was trying to protect you from yourself - as I was= =2E You might guess that she and I do not see eye to eye concerning you.= " "Yes, I could see that. You called me a... a killer. But...?" A small smile. "No, you do not normally kill anymore. Hardly anyone do= es. As you've seen, we have stored blood to subsist on, acquired largely= from the rejected donations to blood banks. They're so particular - for= tunately more so than we are. But you are a vampire, Nicholas, as I am -= and we do have that capability to kill in us. The hunger, which you hav= e evidently experienced by now, can drive us to the kill. You, who have = immersed yourself in a mortal environment, must be particularly careful a= round mortals." Nick nodded, accepting LaCroix's words for now. But there was still the= unspoken thing between them. "You said you brought me across. Did I.. = want to become this? Or did you... force me?" LaCroix looked deeply into his son's eyes. "I offered, Nicholas. And y= ou said yes. You wanted to, yes." "What else are you not telling me?" Nick, feeling the unnamed tingling = in their link, was growing more determined to discover the reason behind = it. = LaCroix thought ruefully, dropping his g= aze. He tensed suddenly as his son's hands slid gently up his arms to hi= s shoulders. Surprised, he looked up again. "Tell me, Lucien," Nick was softly pleading. "I want to know." There w= as both a wistfulness and a firmness to his low voice. He was not going = to let this go. His link with the other vampire was telling him somethin= g he did not understand, something that spoke to somewhere deep inside hi= m. In fact he was beginning to have an inkling. = LaCroix was quite absorbed in his son's nearness. He looked over the ha= ndsome face before him - the high, intelligent forehead, the strong, jutt= ing nose, warm blue eyes, wide sensual mouth - he was thinking, One hand now lifted to gently touch the elder on the cheek. Nick was musing, and allowed himself to drink in the electricity t= hat seemed to be building. "Are we lovers, Lucien?" Nick asked in a low whisper. He drew nearer, s= lipping to the edge of the stool. "Is that the truth you fear to expose?= " "Nicholas," LaCroix breathed, unwittingly leaning into the light caress.= "My dear child -" Then he regained some control of himself. Straighte= ning, he drew the hand away from his face, though he kept it in his. "Th= ere is so much you do not know about what has gone between us over the ce= nturies. When you remember, you will not look at me so." Nick shook his head. "Lucien, I know what I'm feeling in our link. You= cannot deny that you love me." The word was said. Their connection had betrayed him. Before, Nick wou= ld never have allowed himself to read that link to see what lay there, de= eply buried beneath their pain. "Nicholas, your innocence at this moment= endears you to me all the more." He sighed and it was now his turn to t= ouch the other upon the cheek. "I cannot lie. Yes, Nicholas, I am in lo= ve with you. But we have not been together - we have not been lovers for= , oh, so many years, centuries. You have pulled away from me steadily an= d, I must confess, I have pushed you away equally as hard. Regretfully y= ou have not been happy with your nature and I have been less than toleran= t of your attempts to shed it." The younger vampire closed his eyes briefly and leaned into the other's = hand, then covered it with his own. "I feel nothing of that between us, = Lucien. Have... have I ever been in love with you?" LaCroix bit his lip in consternation. Words that he never, ever expecte= d to leave that sweet mouth. A terrible bitter pill if the healing mind = behind them were to regain what it had lost. "I believe so, yes. A very= long time ago." "We *were* lovers." "Once. Oh, yes. And you were not always so unhappy with what you are. = I have not been so good to you, Nicholas. I have made mistakes in my pa= renting of you. Despite how I feel, how even you may have felt, we have = been apart." Nick was contemplating this. "Maybe my memory loss can be something of = a good thing, like the silver lining to a cloud, as the saying goes," he = commented. He remembered Natalie had commented on that. "Maybe we can s= tart over this time, Lucien." LaCroix could scarcely believe what he was hearing. He turned his head slightly, eyes closed, and let his palm lie flat up= on the cheek of his child. A gentle petting of the man-smooth cheek. So= loving, so yearning, his heart ached with fear that he could ever come s= o close, and in remembering would then be rejected and hated so fiercely.= = Then he felt the mouth upon his, lips gently pressing, then curving into= a smile. Gasping, his heart engulfed in fear, he responded, pulling the= other completely into his embrace. A rush of passion fired their link u= ntil both were kissing deeply with equal fervor. To LaCroix's surprise t= here was no lust, no predatory urge to possess the other and he knew he h= ad told the truth that he was just realizing for himself as well: he *wa= s* in love with Nick. Deeply, truly, head-over-heels in love and had bee= n, probably forever, but would never have admitted it. Never. An eterni= ty of loss was all he could have expected. Until the explosion of a copkiller bullet in Nick's brain had managed to= suppress the prodigious memory long enough for this. = And if this bliss were only to last an hour until that memory return to = crush it out, then so be it. A stolen moment against an eternity. It wo= uld have to do. LaCroix was drunk on the sweet moisture of his beloved's lips and tongue= =2E The link between them sang strongly of love and warmth. He knew thro= ugh that link, and hopefully soon through his blood, that Nick felt the r= ush of love as well. Then a cold vise came down upon that ancient heart as he realized. Shar= ing blood. *His* blood. Nicholas would read of their past in his blood.= Memory would return the animosity and his heart would have to die again= =2E No. = Roughly he pulled the other away from him, heedless that blood streaked = his cheeks. "Nicholas," he moaned, his heart already breaking. = The love was still saturating those clear blue eyes. "You're afraid I'l= l regain my memory," Nick spoke with surety. "You think this doesn't cha= nge all that? You think we can ever go back to that cold hatred or whate= ver it is you fear? Now that I know that you're in love with me? Now th= at I feel that love as well?" "I... I don't understand... Nicholas, I have to tell you something." All= thoughts of taking advantage of him had fled. He pushed at the hand try= ing to wipe away his tears. Steeling himself, he held Nick by the should= ers and looked at him directly. "In passion the vampire must draw blood = - it is why you must keep your mortal friend at a distance. But between = vampires it becomes the sharing of blood. It's why we, why vampires are = usually bisexual though they may, as you do, have a preference for one ge= nder over another. But the sharing of blood... Nicholas, you will read o= f our past in my blood. You will know, damn you, you will know what I ha= ve done to you. And you will be finished with me, all the more for darin= g to come so close to you." "No," Nick countered, his hands on the other's wrists. "If you were suc= h a monster you would not be telling me this. You would not look at me w= ith the pure light of love that even now you cannot keep from me. You wo= uld have taken what is yours." LaCroix hung his head, defeated. The boy could not know what he was tal= king about. His brains were still sorting themselves out in that pretty = head, and it was only a matter of time before the contempt would rule aga= in. = Then his hands were being lifted, pulled down to his son's waist. He fl= inched, knowing what the other was about to do. Five minutes of blood an= d it would be all over. This intimacy would end forever. So soon. LaCr= oix shut his eyes against the pain. He let his hands rest where they wer= e laid while hands slipped around his neck. "Touch me," the beautiful sensuous voice murmured. "Hold me, Lucien. I= t will be all right." He felt the gentle pressure on the back of his nec= k, and they were standing, bodies drawing together. A small gasp escaped= him to feel the long, clean length of the other against his. At last. = At long last and so quickly would it be gone. = "I love you, Lucien," Nick whispered, and drew his loving father down to= his mouth. He opened lips against his, inviting him into the entryway t= o passion. LaCroix gave in to the sweetness, the intoxicating essence of this most = precious of his creations. Eight centuries of longing transmitted throug= h the engulfing kiss, the strong caress of his son's back. Nicholas's ha= nd at the back of his head, the other at his neck, holding him as if fear= ing to separate, and the trembling lips eager and passionate. His child = as a fledgling again, and later as one who had come to him in loss or fea= r, succumbing to the fire in their link, the fire that smoldered ever ben= eath the surface. It had always been there. Denied, rejected perhaps, b= ut eternal. = Then they separated slowly, though still lightly embracing, both loathe = to part from the other physically. Nicholas smiled again, a triumphant s= mile that lit up his face. He was an angel of night, a spirit of power t= hat was as glorious as the sun. Nicholas *was* his sun, the light that h= e'd given up in Pompeii and found again 1100 some years later. Too many = centuries in the dark and cold, and to find... this. The change swept through both vampires simultaneously, eyes turning fera= l gold and fangs growing in a fierce ache as bloodlust swelled. For LaCr= oix it was merely tapping into his nature, the arousal that would satisfy= his thirst, but for Nicholas who did not remember the lust to share bloo= d between vampires, it was nearly overwhelming. = "Easy, Nicholas," LaCroix rasped, steadying his son. "This is what we a= re. Our hungers define our nature and they are not to be feared." His v= oice was the voice of the mentor of old, helping the fledgling to adjust.= Only now he dared let the love show. "Are you afraid, Nicholas?" Nick was clinging to his forearms, mastering the waves of hunger coursin= g through him, the pain in his teeth. He was not a fledgling, however, a= nd unconsciously applied controls honed over eight hundred years. It was= not a feeding hunger, he knew, realizing that they were passing the poin= t of no return between them. "No, I'm not afraid," he replied in a like = voice, low and gravely. Instead, he knew full well, it was a hunger for = his master's blood, his master and father and brother and mentor whom he = now knew was in love with him. And a hunger for the knowledge therein, k= nowledge that could help him to know himself better. Knowledge that coul= d make him hate his master. Knowledge that could kill the new growing lo= ve in his heart for him. He relaxed his grip, released, then lifted his fingers to the buttons of= LaCroix's shirt. "We face this together, Lucien," he stated, looking hi= s father straight in the eyes as he began to unbutton the top four button= s of his shirt, easing the black jacket off his shoulders as well. LaCroix, returning the steadfast gaze, began the same attentions to Nick= 's shirt and jacket. Fear still drummed in him but he was heartened some= what by Nick's confidence, misplaced though it was. If there was any cha= nce... At last shirts were open enough to provide access to necks. LaCroix, r= eadying to strike, murmured one last reminder to his son: "I do love you,= Nicholas. Try to remember that when you are learning to hate me." And = with no more hesitation, he buried his fangs deep into the neck of his be= loved. Nick, gasping, followed seconds later, roughly pulling the other to him = - without dislodging fangs - and struck the neck of his master. LaCroix, hating himself and hating what he must do, opened wide the memo= ries to explode across the bloodlink and their mental link. = =0D When it was done, when bloody fangs withdrew, the circle of blood from m= aster to child and back broken, LaCroix released his son and turned his h= ead away, dreading to see what lay there. For himself, he was still drun= k on the all of Nicholas, more dizzily in love than ever, but cold impass= ion plucked and clutched at him like a beggar demanding attention. It wa= s to be his unwelcome refuge from what he knew must be coming. Nick's head was bowed, the back of his hand wiping at his lips. He took= a step backwards, staggering for a moment, shuddering as reaction still = thrummed through him. His other hand still clutched at his father's slee= ve, then belatedly dropped. = The memories shared, as was normally the case, were disjointed, laden he= avily with emotion, and incomplete. But Nick had, as LaCroix had feared = and expected, received enough. The truth was cruelly, brutally burned in= to him, a poison that threatened to brush aside the tender new feelings h= e'd just discovered. = The betrayals... the taunts... the possessiveness... the manipulation. Sylvaine. Azure. Nick straightened, eyes still hooded, and glanced over at LaCroix. The = tall back was now bowed with the weight of the anticipated loss, head sti= ll averted, the anguish thick in his stance and face. Nick understood, a= t last, his father's fear. LaCroix had made his life a living hell, push= ing him finally to rejecting his nature altogether these last 100 years. = The taste of that treatment in his blood had been bitter. But that wasn= 't all that Nick had tasted. Pain. Great, crushing fear that LaCroix himself dared not admit himself= much less give in to. And the greatest fear of all had been that he wou= ld one day lose Nick forever, either to mortality or suicide. He believe= d he had already lost him on a personal level. Forever. Finally, that which the ancient vampire had most dared to face in himsel= f: love. The underlying motivation behind it all, the fatal flaw, the s= take fixed most surely in his heart. His greatest source of pain, becaus= e the overwhelming love he'd been smitten with back in 1228 could never b= e returned. Even his precious Fleur; that sweet, denied love had actuall= y been an outgrowth of the same consuming love for her brother. *That* h= e'd never been able to face until now, never able to let himself see. = Then, the final shock: Lucien LaCroix had never allowed himself to admi= t that he was deeply in love with Nick. The truth had hurt too hard for = the glimmerings of hope he'd just entertained, seeing that Nick's memory = might possibly not return. Nick had no doubts that there was still much = left to learn yet, and still much horror between them. = But for the first time in eight hundred years, the horror was tinged wit= h perspective and understanding. There was a name to his master's madnes= s, and it was not "evil." And that realization shocked Nick to his core.= = It changed *everything*. Everything. It was as if this moment had become the pivot point of his = centuries past and his uncounted centuries still in the future, the fulcr= um of his entire existence. = LaCroix was aware suddenly that Nick was staring at him, and flinched in= voluntarily. He shied away from him, kept from bolting by curiosity, tho= ugh he had no doubt whatsoever of the hatred that would be in those hard = blue eyes if he were to look. He could not look yet, pathetically seekin= g to prolong the limbo of uncertainty. But most of all he hated himself deeply. he thought, the bitterness staining the lingering taste of Nick's blood= in his mouth. He knew the answer to that, of course. Natalie Lambert, had she known, = would have understood perfectly. = LaCroix continued, = his fingers clenching into fists. "Lucien..." came the soft voice abruptly, an evil tease to his torment.= He turned his head toward him slightly, but still would not look. "You = *never* called me that, Nicholas, and you know that!" "I know. Perhaps I should have." It was a strange answer. To LaCroix's perspective, it seemed that Nick = was mocking him, deliberately throwing his weakness back in his face. We= ll, mockery was not going to be acceptable. Best to have done with this.= He steeled himself for the confrontation, eyes going golden. "Insolent= child!" he snarled. His head whipped up and he met the other's gaze ful= ly. was an initial reaction but then the = electricity arced between them like lightning. = Still, he misread the expected hardness as anger. It was instead determ= ination. LaCroix prepared himself to launch his body at the other, but Nick was f= or once faster, hitting him square in the chest so that they both went cr= ashing to the floor. He struggled to get a grip to toss the other man of= f him, but found his arms were pinned to his side. Nicholas had thrown h= is arms around him in an attempt to immobilize him, relaxing his weight c= ompletely onto the other. "Stop it," said the soft voice again with a new urgency. "Don't fight m= e, Lucien. Please..." That name! It dropped like acid onto his senses, stabbing his meager co= mposure. Growling, LaCroix broke loose and immediately tossed his son fr= ee of him. Nick rolled as the elder staggered to his feet again, but onc= e the younger vampire had gone upright in a crouch, only sprang at him ag= ain, this time hitting him forcibly in the throat. LaCroix made an abrup= t gurgling noise and pulled at the forearm pressing into his windpipe. N= ick leaned hard into his throat, the free arm and a knee pinning the othe= r's arms. And again, the agonizingly soft voice: "Please don't fight me... stop th= is..." LaCroix fought with the arm pressing into his neck, fingernails tearing = away the sleeve and sinking into the firm flesh. But the other was heedl= ess of anything that might be done to him. Blood flowed from Nick's arm,= and in the struggle even dribbled onto LaCroix's face, onto his lips. A= tongue flicked out to wipe the offending drips, tasted... The ancient one suddenly stopped struggling and relaxed completely. The= instant he did, the weight on him let up altogether. Then Nick was pull= ing LaCroix up into a sitting position beside him. He still held onto hi= s arms, looked up into his face... LaCroix's universe tilted... and stayed that way. The hardness in the beautiful blue eyes had given away totally to... to.= =2E. LaCroix could not comprehend what he saw. The blood he'd tasted on= his lips, he noted first, was not solely from Nick's arm. Much was from= the still-streaming tears on his son's face. Now it was his turn to sta= re. Slowly he began to realize. There had been utterly no anger or hatred i= n that blood. Nick's eyes - so blue, rimmed in bloody tears, the windows of his heart = - fixed on him now with an intensity that was daunting. "I know," he whi= spered, emotion making his low voice shudder. "I know everything I need= to know now, Lucien. Not the what, but the why, which is everything." = There was even a note of awe in the voice, leaving LaCroix utterly confu= sed. The intensity eased a little. "May I call you Lucien?" Though any damage to his windpipe would likely be already healed, LaCroi= x could not speak. Searing emotion had crippled his ability to talk, tig= htening his throat almost painfully. His existence was shifting into a n= ew reality completely independent of his will and he was at a total loss = for what to do or think. The briefest of nods then he unfroze suddenly, = grasping his son by the head with both hands. When his own eyes had begu= n to stream with tears as well, he had no idea, hardly aware of anything = but the beneficent gaze regarding him. Nick was nearly as undone, but then he had far less to fear in the shift= ing paradigm. Tentatively his mouth began to curve into a smile. The be= auty and light in that smile were nearly blinding to the old vampire. Ni= ck leaned into the press of fingers clasping his face. "It's all right,"= he whispered. "We're all right, Lucien. This isn't going to be easy. = There will be a lot of pain ahead for us yet. Most of my memory may yet = return - but everything is changed now between us." "Is it," LaCroix managed to say finally, fear still strong in him. Aloud he added ironically, "P= erhaps you saw less of our relationship in my blood than I'd hoped." = But Nick was already sliding his hands up against his in an obvious care= ss. LaCroix bore the touch, burning. "I saw, Lucien," the soft voice ha= d returned. "The torments, the manipulation... but I also saw what I now= know I had never guessed at before. The why." "And you forgive me!" LaCroix spat in contempt. The gentle voice dropped even lower, hardening slightly again. "Tell me= you're not in love with me. That you haven't been in love with me all t= hose 800 years. And I won't believe you. Blood cannot lie!" "So what, Nicholas?" LaCroix returned venomously, rebuffing the caress.= He gave his son's head a rough shake, then abruptly grabbed him by the = throat as if to return the chokehold of earlier. "What if I am in love w= ith you? What difference can that possibly make now?" "Everything," Nick gasped. He made no attempt to pull the other's hands= from his throat - on the contrary, his light pressure on LaCroix's wrist= s were almost a caress. = "Nothing!" Eyes had gone golden again. "I will now have to bear your c= ontempt and superior moral airs. LaCroix, in love! No oxymoron ever hel= d such cruel irony!" "Fear is making you say this," Nick countered vehemently - he'd pried fi= ngers away from his throat enough for speech. "You want to hold me, love= me so badly -" "No-" "Yes - and I do, too!" That simple admission wrenched the ancient one somewhere deep in his hea= rt. With a last shake, he let go of Nick completely, averting his eyes a= gain. "I can't believe that. I can't. You can't... it's not possible."= Nick reached up to his master's cheek, only to have his hand battered aw= ay. "It is," he stated, relentless. "I can. You can." "Your injury is far greater than to your memory then, Nicholas," LaCroix= bit out. "This is dementia!" "No, it isn't." The determination was back in eye and voice in full for= ce, this time tempered only with warmth. "You're only pushing me away no= w because you're afraid I will eventually turn away from you again." "Of course you will!" LaCroix almost laughed. "Not now I won't." Nick's eyes gleamed with returning tears. "Now I ca= n love you, Lucien. Please..." He tried to touch him again, and was a s= econd time rebuffed. "If you know what I've done to you, you can't love me," the other replie= d. "And what of your current impetus to cast off your nature?" A small frown creased the strong, smooth forehead. Nick remembered - Na= talie had said something about his not wanting to be a vampire. Was this= what she'd been referring to? There were so many gaps still in how he p= erceived himself. Burning in the sun was terrible, as had been the wrenc= hing in his gut and the weakness of the hunger. And he must keep from ge= tting too close to Natalie so he wouldn't hurt her. She said they'd been= working toward something - a cure? Was it even possible? Nick made himself relax where he sat on the floor, bending a leg up in f= ront of him and folding his hands atop the knee. "How long have I been s= earching for a cure?" His voice was now flat, emotionless. "Most of a century." LaCroix was picking himself up off the floor, retu= rning to his bar stool. "And no success in all that time, obviously." A snort was the only answer he got. Nick considered this information in lieu of their present dilemma. LaCr= oix's current fears made sense, oh, so much sense now. His beloved son h= ad been planning for a hundred years to break their bond and leave him fo= rever, leaving to die a mortal death one day. Nick thought, horrified.= The facts were there. He did not have to kill. He didn't even have to = subsist entirely on human blood, which wasn't obtained from needless kill= ing anyway. Sunlight could be avoided. Well, he had only shadowy notions of his powers. "Well, Nicholas?" LaCroix was taunting him derisively. "Come up agains= t one of your moral conundrums, have we?" There was no sting to the words, now that he knew the source. "No," Nic= k answered quickly, looking up. "Not in the least." He rose to his feet= now, a smooth, graceful movement that made the other's throat ache. "It= makes no sense to search for a cure for vampirism if I'm going to be at = your side forever. I'm through with our old game of causing the other pa= in, LaCroix, and I know you are, too. The past is *dead*." LaCroix, the wild, desperate hope once again threatening his composure, = lifted his eyes to the other's, wincing at the love therein. Love he wan= ted to hurl himself against as a storm against a mountain. Love he wante= d to impale his soul upon. Nicholas's love. The words of his beloved bu= rned a bright flame in his cold heart: "at your side forever." Forever. "Nicholas," he breathed the name of his beloved as he stepped off the st= ool to face him again. "You will be my son again?" He wasn't able to ke= ep his voice from shaking. The lightning, angel smile burst forth again, a sunrise to LaCroix's tha= wing heart. "I *am* your son, and your brother, and your lover, Lucien."= Nick's voice was triumphant and light, bearing the preternatural beauty= of their kind in abundant measure. = They were close, inches apart, and Nick could see the strain in his fath= er's visage. Something else was still to be done. "Lucien?" LaCroix took a deep breath, trying to will himself to calmness and not s= ucceeding. "I still fear to believe. There has been so much between us,= Nicholas. Help me..." Immediately Nick raised his bared forearm. "Here is faith, Father. Blo= od cannot lie. Taste my love." Passion drove the change through him. Gold eyes met clear blue, so conf= ident and unafraid. LaC= roix thought suddenly, and the revelation turned him inside out. He gras= ped the offering roughly, and bit hard to release the waiting truth there= in. Nicholas's blood, now unbelievably thick with love, cracked apart th= e last of the ice cage around his heart. Nick gasped at the initial stab of pain, but sighed immediately with the= pleasure of allowing his beloved to feed upon his essence. Now, finally= , the link between father and son vibrated again with promise and hope...= and ecstasy. Such was the glory of their species, Nick realized with de= ep satisfaction. Not the killing. This, the blood communion. And he ne= ver wanted to give it up. Would never let it go. Would never let his be= loved go. LaCroix released the wrist reverently, licking away a last, stray drop o= f ambrosia. His long, pale face was composed as he finally accepted the = peace flooding his soul. The patrician mouth curved at last into a smile= =2E "Nicholas," he sighed. "My dear child - my love..." Fingers curled= lovingly now into the soft blonde waves of hair as he drew him closer. = Involuntarily he shivered as hands and arms slipped about his waist, but = it became easier as he settled Nick against him. It felt natural. = "I know there is a lot left for us to work out," Nick murmured into the = other's ear, his eyes closed. "When more of my memory returns, that is. = If it returns. Frankly I don't mind having something of a fresh start w= ith you. And with myself." Thinking of Nicholas's former preoccupation with guilt and his self-dest= ructive tendencies, LaCroix couldn't agree more. For once in their 800-y= ear association, the younger vampire would be able to function without hi= s self-imposed burden, so devastating to his vibrant spirit. And LaCroix= would far rather have that spirit light and flying free than weighed dow= n and crippled. Especially now that at long last that light could look u= pon him with something other than contempt. He sought now, not to posses= s, control, or manipulate Nicholas, but to leave him free to love. Love = would become the captivity to which they could both chain themselves. = Of course Nick would not return to the kill. A small regret; the boy wa= s so very good at it, and his technique could arouse his master like no o= ther's. But an acceptable loss. Nick would most likely also continue in= his life among the mortals, though his vigilance must be complete in kee= ping his hungers at bay. LaCroix could even allow him that now. Their o= wn relationship may need to be kept a secret, however, for those mortal f= riends of Nick's - especially the beautiful Dr. Lambert - would not under= stand what blood and mental link had done in them. They could not ever e= xperience the connecting threads that had freshened their vampire hearts = into love. Another consideration, but it was one LaCroix was amazed to find that he= was not particularly concerned about. Nick's preferences in romantic li= aisons had been markedly heterosexual for a long time. So much so that i= t astonished LaCroix to realize that Nick had not only allowed his embrac= e, but also his kiss. Nick's blood had explained that their gender samen= ess did not matter to him. And this was far more than just another liais= on. This body belonged to his beloved, and therefore would be loved. Th= e nature of that expression would come in time. = "A fresh start," LaCroix echoed. He kissed him tenderly on the cheek. = "The silver lining of your clouded memory, Nicholas." He tightened his a= rms about him briefly, then released him altogether so he could look at h= im again. The easy, warm smile was still there, to his relief. It would= be a while before he didn't need to check for it anymore. He met his ga= ze and smiled. "Drink now, with me, my Nicholas, " he said, picking up a= gain his glass from the bar and handing Nick his. "To the good memories = regained... and the divisive ones forgotten... and to fresh starts." Nick clicked glasses with his father, grinning, and then drained his gla= ss with him. They both returned to their bar stools, and refilled glasse= s. = "Now," LaCroix began again as they had started, "where to begin, Nichola= s? More questions, more explanations?" But this time he smiled warmly a= nd openly. As they were facing each other, their legs touched... remaine= d, a companionable closeness that both very much wanted now. "An explanation, a story, perhaps," Nick replied, matching the smile. "= Tell me, Father... about Janette." Outside the sun rose higher in the sky. There were no clouds. =0D The End =0D --PART.BOUNDARY.0.10561.emout14.mail.aol.com.856750497--