This is a first of many for me, the first story I've completed, the first slash story I 've written and the first one I've let any one else seen. Thanks to my beta readers Luci and Maxine for the help and encouragement, especially for pointing out my spelling mistakes.

Standard disclaimers apply. Nick, LaCroix and the rest of the FK gang don't belong to me, I'm just keeping them occupied while they're out of work.

Permission to archive at JADFE, anyone else please ask.

Feedback to wyattt@supanet.com

Tracy

Knightie, Cousin, UFer, G5



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Prequel to 'Angel Of Death' (1/2)



"Ah, Nicholas." LaCroix smiled as he entered the room. "Close the door."

Nicholas obeyed him and then turned to look at him. "Why have you summoned me at this time of day? Have I done something wrong?"

"No. Of course you haven't. Come here." Nicholas walked to stand in front of him. LaCroix gently pressed his lips against his son's.

"What are you DOING?" A shocked Nicholas stammered.

"Have you never been kissed before?" LaCroix was mildly amused by his reaction.

"Not like that, not by another man. It's wrong."

LaCroix chose to ignore the look of disgust in his son's eyes. "I suggest Nicholas, that you open your mouth this time." He kissed him again and before he knew what he was doing Nicholas was returning the kiss, their tongues intertwined probing deeper. LaCroix broke away from him with a smile of satisfaction on his face. "Take that off." He indicated to the white chemise Nicholas was wearing. "I can assure you, Nicholas you won't be needing it." 

Still Nicholas did not move, but watched as LaCroix removed his own chemise and tossed it to one side. Nicholas stared, spellbound at his master's magnificent body. 

LaCroix came and stood and in front of him again. "You enjoyed that kiss didn't you?" 

Nicholas was too ashamed of himself to answer, he felt violated, yet he had enjoyed the sensation. This time their kiss was longer and deeper. <God, he tastes so good>, Nicholas thought. He was dimly aware that LaCroix's hands were on his shoulders and then he heard the sound of ripping cloth and felt the chemise fell to the floor. "Much better." LaCroix took a step back and then circled around him. 

"I don't want to do this." Nicholas turned to face him, his back now to the bed.

"You don't know what you want, yet." LaCroix looked at him. "However, you will soon." Nicholas shook his head defiantly. "Soon you will be begging me to take you." LaCroix smiled as he added in a lustfully tone "To fuck you." Wide eyed Nicholas shook his head. LaCroix moved nearer to him and Nicholas stepped back, not knowing that was what LaCroix wanted. "Yes." He grabbed him by the arms and kissed him hard. Nicholas welcomed it and reacted with the same urgency and desire as his father. LaCroix moved one hand to his chest and stroked him gently, before pinching a nipple between his fingers. Nicholas gasped in pain and excitement. He felt LaCroix's hard cock against his thigh and realised he was in a similar state. <No> he said to himself. <This is wrong>. LaCroix moved from his mouth, first to his neck and then to his chest. Kissing and licking as he went. At the same time his hands were stroking his chest, his back and finally came to rest on his hips. Slowly LaCroix kissed and licked his way down his son's body. Nicholas wanted to say stop, but the only sounds coming out of his mouth were soft moans of pleasure. He cried out when LaCroix wrapped a hand around his throbbing shaft and he was shocked at how hard he had become from just a few touches and kisses. <This can't be happening> he told himself, but it was. As he stroked his son's hardness with his fingers, LaCroix's mouth continued to travel downwards until he was just above his groin and then he stopped. <Down. No, what I'm thinking. Yes, go down>. LaCroix smiled to himself as he picked up on Nicholas's thoughts. This was going better than he had dared hoped. He resumed his journey down until he reached his son's erection. Slowly he planted kisses along the hard shaft and then licked around it's head. Gasping, Nicholas looked down at him and watched in fascination as his own cock disappeared into LaCroix's mouth. Nicholas cried out, his knees gave way but LaCroix had a tight grip on his hips and held him up. He could not take his eyes off LaCroix, as he sucked him up and down and then he saw his own hips moving, thrusting his cock further inside. LaCroix suddenly stopped and Nicholas groaned in disappointment and slumped onto the bed. LaCroix moved to a kneeling position in front of him. "You enjoyed that didn't you?" Nicholas nodded, wishing he had not and at the same time wanting LaCroix to continue. "I will be more than happy to continue with that after."

"After?"

LaCroix leaned nearer to him. "After I've fucked you." Nicholas shook his head. "Yes Nicholas." He pushed him further on to the bed and then climbed on as well. "You want it." Again Nicholas shook his head. LaCroix kissed, licked and bit his way up the inside of one his legs and when he got to his thigh Nicholas could not keep from spreading his legs for him. He was frustrated when LaCroix did not move to his aching cock, as he had hoped. "I told you after." LaCroix moved between his legs, pushing them up so they were bent at the knees then he leaned forward over him and pushed his fingers into Nicholas's mouth. Once they were wet he took them out and slipped his hand underneath his son. Nicholas felt a finger near his forbidden opening, but before he could utter any sound of protest LaCroix pushed it in. Nicholas gasped with pain, but that only lasted a moment and then he was moaning in pleasure. "You like that too." LaCroix pulled the finger out and then pushed it back in deeper. "You will relish it, when I am inside you." LaCroix withdraw his finger.

"No." Nicholas whimpered, but as the finger went back into his anus, he instinctually raised his hips to give him even greater access. With his finger LaCroix eased the tightness open and then he inserted a second finger. He rotated the two fingers, making him open even further. "I can't do this." Nicholas murmured.

"You are doing this Nicholas." LaCroix said. Nicholas desperately tried to deny it to himself, but even as he shook his head he knew he did want it badly and he was horrified. "You want this... You need this.... You must have it." LaCroix's fingers slid in and out smoothly now. He put in another finger. "Say it Nicholas." He plunged his fingers deeply back into him. "Say it, and I will give it to you." 

Yes." Nicholas whimpered as LaCroix withdraw his fingers. "Please."

"Yes, what? Please what? Say it Nicholas."

For a moment he was appalled as he remembered what LaCroix had said to him earlier, that he would be begging him to take him, and he was begging. Begging for another man to take him in the arse, and he did not care what it meant. He could not help it he just wanted to feel him inside him. "Please I need.... I need you...." Nicholas gasped. "I need your cock in me."

"Yes, and you need it badly don't you?" LaCroix changed his position slightly and pressed the head of his cock against Nicholas's opening who cried out. "Just as badly as I need to be inside you."

"Oh yes." Nicholas moaned.

"This will be like nothing you've experienced before. You will love this Nicholas." He pushed a little way in. Nicholas cried out. "Relax now, my Nicholas. So I can get all the way in. You want that don't you?" Nicholas wanted that more than anything at that moment, and tried to relax. LaCroix pushed further into him. "That's right. Good. Good boy. You're doing very well." LaCroix pushed a final time and then he was there. "Oh, Nicholas. You feel so good." For a few moments he did not move, enjoying the wonderful sensation around his cock. Nicholas was so wonderful tight. "Nicholas, are you alright?" Nicholas nodded. "You're doing very well." LaCroix told him. Nicholas smiled back at him. Then LaCroix withdrew to his tip and plunged all the way back in. Nicholas screamed from the heady mixture of pain and pleasure he was feeling. <This is so good> he thought. <How could something that felt this good be bad?> He thrust his hips back, in time with LaCroix, their rhythm growing steadily faster. LaCroix gripped his son's cock and began pumping that in time to their thrusts. "Ohh ... Wonderful." LaCroix moaned. Nicholas eyes changed to a glowing amber, his fangs descended and then he was over the edge. He was overcome with convulsions his cum splurting all over LaCroix who had stopped his own thrusting to lean forward to and take the twitching organ in his mouth. He eagerly swallowed the bloody fluid.

"Father!" Nick cried desperately. LaCroix offered him his arm and he sank his fangs in with relish. His back arched as the images and feelings of love and desire he saw in LaCroix's blood, along with the physical stimulation he was still receiving, made him come again. LaCroix stopped what he was doing and watched him, determined that his son had his release before he did. Gradually Nick quieted and his feeding slowed. Panting he lay back with his eyes closed, exhausted.

"Nicholas?" LaCroix said softly, closing his eyes. Nicholas looked at him, realising he could still feel him in his arse, still hard, and was angry with himself for his selfishness. "It's alright." LaCroix told him. "I wanted it this way." He opened his eyes, and Nicholas saw that they were now the eyes of the vampire. "So you can watch me." He gripped Nicholas's hips with his hands. "Watch me enjoying your body, and see there is nothing wrong with it."

"Yes." Nicholas understood and focused on his master's face as he resumed his thrusting. Nicholas cried out, but kept watching his face. He saw the pleasure on his face as he thrusting became more frantic, his cries of joy grew louder and then the orgasm hit him. LaCroix shuddered violently and plunged his aching fangs into his son's thigh. Nicholas screamed as he bit hard.



13/04/96



Nick Knight was woken up by the telephone ringing. "Damn." He muttered wishing he could go back to sleep and enjoy the rest of his dream. He heard his own voice from the answering machine and then he heard the voice of his partner. 

"Nick, where the hell are you? Reese is having a fit." 

Nick looked at the alarm clock and saw he was late for work, again. "Shit!"



Lucien LaCroix stood close to the bar and counted three vampires and two mortal customers as he looked around the Raven. His gaze finally settled on the two mortals, sitting as they had been for every night for almost three weeks at the same corner table. He should really have a word with Nicholas he thought, but he had not seen or heard from his son since that night he had cremated Divia. Although he suspected that he had already done what he could to prevent the police surveillance on the Raven. LaCroix also suspected it was partly responsible for deterring Nicholas from coming to the Raven, that and a few other things LaCroix knew about. From their bond he knew that Nicholas was having a great deal of difficulty in sleeping, and when he did the nightmares were horrific. He could also sense a more profound weakness in the boy, and LaCroix knew he was once again failing to feed properly. In the past, whenever he had been beset with sleeping problems he had frequently been too exhausted to feed properly and there had been several occasions when LaCroix had even had to force feed him.

LaCroix went over to the bar, where Christian immediately put the newspaper he had been reading down and turned to get the bottle of special vintage. LaCroix picked up the newspaper. "I don't pay you to read." He told the younger vampire.

"Sorry, boss."



"You OK?" Detective Tracy Vetter asked after Nick had come out of the captain's office.

"Yea, I'm fine." Nick sat down at his desk. "I'll survive."

"So what happened?"

"I overslept. Simple as that."

"Still having trouble sleeping?" Nick had confessed to her a few nights before that he was having nightmares. "Another nightmare?"

"Something like that." Now that he had time to think about it, he was not sure if it had been a good dream or a bad. Yes, he had enjoyed it, but what did it mean? Why had he dreamt about his first time with LaCroix. Were they his desires or were they Divia's. She had had such a strong desire for her mortal father/vampire son and Nick was not sure if her memories were influencing him in some way and it disturbed him.

"You know you really should take some time off."

"That's what Reese just told me."

"And?"

"I'll think about it." 

"Think about what?" Doctor Natalie Lambert came up behind him.

"Taking some time off." Tracy told her. "He was late because he overslept."

Natalie looked at Nick. "Nightmares again?" Nick nodded. He certainly did not want her to know what the dream was about. "A vacation sounds like a good idea."

"I said I'd think about it." Nick picked up a file and opened it. "Right now, we got too much work on."

"I can manage without you." Tracy glanced at Natalie, before looking back at Nick. "I've been doing that more or less for the last three weeks."

Nick looked at her. "What?" He exclaimed.

"Well, you haven't exactly been 'with it' for a while." Natalie told him.

Nick looked at from one woman to the other and then back again. "I've really been that bad?" They both nodded. "Why didn't one of you say?"

"We did try." Tracy told him. "You didn't want to listen."

Nick thought about this for a moment. "I'm sorry." He got to his feet. "I'll go and see Reese now and book some time off." He went back to Captain Reese's office. "Cap?" He said as he went in.

"Nick?"

"Eh, Cap? I've been thinking about what you said about taking some time off, and I think you're right." Nick said. Reese was surprised at the sudden change of mind. . "I was ganged up on."

"It's about time." Reese got out a file. "You've got two nights more on this shift, and then two off before you've got five nights 8pm to 4am right?"

"That's right."

Reese quickly checked the rota. "Well, I don't expect to see you again until the 24th, when you're on the 6pm to 2am shift. Don't be late." Nick looked at him blankly. "Go. You're on vacation."

"Thanks Cap." Nick turned to go and then remembered something. "Acutely I won't be doing 6-2." Now it was Reese's turn to look blank. "We agreed I'd be doing 9-5. Sunset won't be until after 8."

"Oh, that's right." Reese looked at the rota. "I forgot to change it." He picked up a pencil and quickly made the alterations. "You know Nick, maybe a little sun is just what you need."

"That's not what my doctor says." Nick replied. "Thanks again, Cap. I'll see you on the 24th then."

"And don't be late!" Reese called after him.

"I'm on vacation." Nick told the women. "As of now."

"Great." Tracy smiled. "What are you going to do?"

"Sleep, paint, work on the caddy." Nick replied. "Maybe look up an old friend. I haven't heard from him in a while." He avoided looking at Natalie, hoping she did not realise he meant LaCroix.

"I'll drop by your place later." She told him.

"Yea, that will be great."


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Prequel to 'Angel Of Death' (2/2)

Nick parked the caddy several blocks away from the Raven and flew the rest of the way. Because of the surveillance, he decided to wait on the roof of the club. As he waited for his father he thought about the dream. What did it mean? He had been certain that he would never again have such an intimate relationship with his father. Friends, yes. He had hoped for a long time they could be friends, and now after the recent events he did believe that was possible. But lovers once again?

"Mon fils?" A voice said softly behind him. Nick turned to face him. LaCroix shook his head. "Why has it taken so long for you to come to me?"

Nick immediately went on the defensive. "Why didn't you come?" He snapped back. Then Nick looked down at the floor and mumbled. "Afraid to."

LaCroix heard perfectly, but could not understand why he would be afraid to come to him. "Afraid of what?" He wanted to know. "The surveillance your captain has put on the Raven?"

"No. Your temper." Nick spoke in his normal voice. "I've been on the receiving end of that enough times to know to avoid you at all costs when you're angry with me."

"What reason would have I to be angry with you?"

"Killing Divia." Nick told him. "You stayed away from me when I needed you, as punishment didn't you?" LaCroix was stunned. He had not expected that, but as he thought about it he could see why Nicholas might think that. He had punished him in exactly that way in the past.

He shook his head. "Nicholas, I'm not angry with you." He paused, thinking about what he needed to say. "I too was afraid to come to you." His son looked confused and LaCroix was already regretting admitting this much to him. "I was afraid of what your reaction would be, now that you know of Divia and what I did. I did not want your pity." 

Now that was something Nick did understand, to a point. "It just means I care."

LaCroix wished he could be sure of that, but he was not. He would only be sure of it if they shared blood, and Nicholas had not allowed that in a long time. "And I do care, very much."

"Even after everything you think I did to you."

"Yes." Nick said. "You don't have to like someone, to love them."

LaCroix felt exactly the same about him. "Or understand them?"

Nick nodded. "Although that would help." He smiled at him.

"Of course it wasn't the only reason. With the surveillance here, I have had to make sure that everyone is behaving themselves."

"That had occurred to me." Nick admitted. "I have to be careful as well. The Raven is currently off limits."

LaCroix went to him and put both his arms around him. "Yet you're here." He shook his head. "You've never been able to follow orders have you?"

"I'm on vacation. I can do what I want on my own time."

"What do you plan to on this vacation?"

"I haven't quite decided."

"Well, I think you first priority is to get well." LaCroix told him. "You look awful." Nick wondered if he looked any worse than he felt. "You need to feed." LaCroix unbuttoned the top his shirt. Just the thought of blood, LaCroix's blood was enough to bring out the vampire in Nick. He looked at his father through his vampire eyes and saw that his father was smiling at him and he smiled back. Nick put his hands on his father's shoulders who then turned his head to give him better access. Gently Nick sank his fangs into his neck, drinking slowly at first and then his hunger took over. LaCroix sighed deeply and moved his arms up around his son into an embrace. He was tempted for a moment to complete the circle, and Nick sensing this shifted his position to give him access to his own neck. "No." LaCroix told him gently. Nick started to withdraw. "No." LaCroix tightened his hold on him. "Continue." He urged. After a moment Nick's reluctance disappeared, as once again his hunger took over. He continued to drink for several minutes, taking in the images of love he saw, until his immediate hunger was satisfied, then he withdrew and this time LaCroix allowed it. "Better?"

"Yes. Thank you." Nick rested his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes. Now all he wanted to do was sleep. He was so tired. He could not remember ever this being tired, not even from before he was brought across.

LaCroix sensed his exhaustion and felt him relax completely. "Nicholas?" He shook him gently. "Nicholas?" He shook him harder. "Mon fils, you can not go to sleep here."

Nick looked up. "No, you're right. I should go home."

"No, that is not what I meant. Stay with me. Allow me to take care of you."

"On one condition. Well, a favour really." Nick said. "Can you take my car home for me?"

"Your car?"

"I left it several blocks from here. I don't want to leave it there too long."

"Very well." LaCroix sighed. Nick smiled in thanks and gave him the keys, quickly telling him where the caddy was. Then suddenly and without warning he kissed him hard. LaCroix was too shocked to response. Nick's smile broadened and he went to the door that would allow him to go downstairs, leaving his father speechless.



LaCroix ran the little errand for his son as quickly as he could, as he was eager to get back and find out the reason behind the sudden kiss. He went to the room he kept for Nick, but was rarely used. He was not there, so then he went to his own room and found him still dressed, curled up on the bed. LaCroix debated with himself whether or not to undress him. He decided not to. Although Nick's sudden kiss was a wonderful surprise, LaCroix suspected he had done it on impulse and had not thought about what it might mean to either of them. He might get upset when he woke up to find LaCroix had undressed him. Besides he did not want to risk waking him up when he was so clearly in need of sleep. LaCroix leaned forward and kissed him gently on his forehead. "Sleep well mon fils." He whispered. "May your dreams be pleasant."



He went back downstairs to the bar and found he now had several more customers, both vampire and mortal. Annoyingly, the two police officers were still there. He went to the bar and was further irritated to find Christian was not where he was supposed to be. "Where is Christian?" He asked Will, who was normally on the door.

"He went for his break, but that was about half an hour ago." Will replied. "He said he had to meet someone

"Oh he did, did he?" LaCroix said. "Nicholas is upstairs asleep, but I may need to go to him. If I do, I want you behind the bar." Will nodded. "When Christian gets back, I want to see him. Oh and William, don't let him know I want to see him."

Will nodded again. "What if you're with Nick when he comes back?"

LaCroix looked at him. "Then I don't want to be disturbed."



When LaCroix sensed his son's distress he rushed upstairs to his private apartment. By the time he got to his bedroom Nick was sitting up, shaking, grasping for breath and calling "LaCroix?"

"I'm here." LaCroix sat on the bed and put his arms around him. "I'm here, mon fils." He said rocking him. "It's just a dream. It's not real." Nick pressed his face harder against his chest. "You're safe. I won't let anyone harm you." Gradually Nick calmed down and relaxed in his father's arms. "Time for you to get undressed and into bed." Nick shook his head. "Nicholas, you're exhausted. You need to sleep."

"No. Don't wanna."

"It'll be alright. I'll be right with you."

"Promise? You won't go for even a minute?"

"Of course I won't." LaCroix reassured him. "Can you manage to undress yourself, or do you want me to do it for you?"

"I can do it." Nick sat back and fumbled with his shirt buttons. "No." He said when LaCroix began to help him, but his father ignored him and that was his last protest.

Quickly LaCroix stripped him too just his boxer shorts and then helped him into bed. "Nicholas, look at me." LaCroix ordered. Nick looked at him, barely able to keep his eyes open. LaCroix had hypnotised him in the past to help him with his sleeping problems and had decided that a little hypnotic suggestion should help now. "There is nothing to fear from the dreams. They are not real."

"Not real." Nick muttered.

""You're safe."

"Safe."

"Sleep, mon fils." LaCroix told him. "When you wake you will feel much better." He relaxed his hold on him slightly. "Go to sleep."

"Sleep." Nick closed his eyes.



14/04/96

"Nick?" Natalie called as she went into the loft. She was somewhat disturbed to find the shutters still up and the sunlight streaming in. As the caddy was parked downstairs in the garage, she assumed he must have gone straight to bed. On her way to the stairs she picked up the remote and pressed the correct button to bring the shutters down.

"Nick?" She called softly going into the bedroom, the bed was unmade but there was no Nick. Now she was very worried. "Where the hell are you, Nick?" There was only other place he would spend the day if he was at the loft, or did not have the caddy and she hoped he had not gone there. She went back downstairs and stared at the telephone for several moments, debating whether to ring or not. But she had to know if he was safe and picked it up.

"Raven?" A voice answered after several rings.

"Er... could I speak to Nick?"

"Who is this?"

"Natalie Lambart." Natalie said. "Is he there?"

"Oh yes, his little mortal friend. Yes, he's here. LaCroix has issued orders not to disturb them." Disturb them? What the hell were they doing? Natalie wondered. "Would you like to leave a message?"

"No, that's alright."

"OK. I'll tell him you rang."

"No, there's no need for that. I was just worried about where he was spending the day. I'm here at the loft and his car's here." Natalie said quickly. "I just wanted to know he was safe. There's no need to tell him I rang."

"Nick can take of himself." The vampire on the other end of the line assured her. "And if he can't, LaCroix can."

<That's what worries me>. Natalie thought. "Thanks." She said hanging up. "Why Nick? Why do you have to keep running to him? Why don't you come to me?"



Nick woke late the next morning. For a few moments he wondered where he was and then he realised he was in LaCroix's bedroom and the body laying behind him with a protective arm around him was his father. It reminded him of his dream the day before. After their first time together. He remembered how, after exhausting himself exploring that wonderful new experience with LaCroix, waking in this very same position. "Nicholas?" LaCroix pulled him even tighter to him. "Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"Is there anything you need?"

"I need you to fuck me." It was a moment or two before Nick realised he had said it out loud, and swore under his breath.

LaCroix was overjoyed and also cautious. "What has brought this on?"

"I was remembering the first time I woke up like this, after our first time together." Nick confessed. "I dreamt about it yesterday as well."

"Really." LaCroix was happy, but still cautious. "I see. Is it just a quick hard fuck you need?" He paused before he continued. "Now I must confess, that until recently I wouldn't have cared." Nick turned to face him. "However, that is no longer the case."

"I don't understand."

"Nicholas, I will no longer be used that way." LaCroix said. Nick glared at him. In his eyes it was LaCroix who had used him in that way. "I won't give you a quick thrill, and then watch your self-disgust and self-pity." Nick looked away from him. "I won't watch you do that to yourself any longer. I love you too much." Then before he lost his nerve LaCroix said. "I'm in love with you, Nicholas." Nick was shocked. "I have been for 800 years." LaCroix expected him to respond with anger, and disbelief, but instead Nick was silent as he thought about this. Now everything made sense. The reason why LaCroix had chased him all those years? And why he had never been able to let him go? "I now want .... need something more than permanent. I need commitment from you, and that's is something you can't give me."

Nick looked back at him. "Why have you never told me before?"

"It is a weakness, Nicholas." LaCroix said. "My weakness is my love for you."

"It's not a weakness."

"It is irrelevant what it is." LaCroix snapped back. "You can't commit to a relationship with me as long as you are searching for a cure." Nick knew that was true and he knew was not yet prepared to give up his search. "As much as I would love to fuck your brains out right now, I won't." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. For better or worse he had finally told him how he felt about him, now it was up to Nick to decide what he really wanted. LaCroix suspected he would not like it.

Nick moved to sit on the edge of the bed, away from LaCroix. "Remember when we all thought that asteroid was going to hit?" LaCroix looked at him. "Remember the despair you were in because of you thought you were going to left alone?"

"Yes."

"I feel that kind of despair all the time."

"I know Nicholas. I wish I could find a way to help you overcome it. I've tried."

Nick took a deep breath to steady himself, as he expected an angry outburst to what he was about to confess. "The number of times I've still been outside when the sun has started to rise, because of that despair." He heard his father sit up. "I came close to actually doing it a few times."

"Obviously you saw sense at the last moment."

"No. The thing that has always stopped me, is the thought that maybe tomorrow I will find the cure." Nick turned and looked at him. "I can't give it up, not as long as I feel this way. It's kept my going, fighting even, for so long. Can you understand that."

"Yes." LaCroix hated admitting it. "We all need goals Nicholas. Even more so for our kind."

"There's something else." Nick began. LaCroix stared at him intently. "Her desire for you was so strong. I'm not sure whether her memories are influencing me still, or if they really are my desires."

"Divia." LaCroix stated. ""I would know the moment I tasted your blood whether it was her memories or you." He sighed deeply. "So it was a quickie you wanted, just to discover whether it was you or Divia."

Nick nodded. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to ask."

"Yes, it was. But we don't need to have sex to find that out." LaCroix eased himself round into a kneeling position. "Mon fils?" Nick climbed back onto the bed in front of him and watched as LaCroix allowed the change to come over him. Carefully LaCroix bite into his son's neck. Nick gasped at the prick point of pain and then forced himself to relax. LaCroix drank slowly, taking in the images of his son's confusion, his despair, his memories of the dream he had. Memories of other times together, both loving and violent, but he could not find Divia. He licked around the wound in he had made in his neck, and was concerned that it healed so slowly. There was no doubt, his son needed to feed properly. "You are being influenced, but not by Divia, by your own memories."

"Thank you, father." Nick put his head on his shoulder and his arms around him.

For a moment LaCroix savoured this, but then he said. "You need to feed, mon fils."

"I'm alright." Nick said. He was silent as he thought about everything. The thought of being in a committed relationship with LaCroix did appeal to him. But was it enough to overcome his despair? "I think I need go away for a while." He suddenly announced.

"What?"

Nick straightened. "I need to think. I think I can do it better without any distractions." LaCroix did not like the sound of that. He had gone three weeks without seeing him and he hated every minute of it. "It'll only be for ten days."

"And where do you plan to go?"

"I have a cabin not far away." Nick said. "I just need to get away."

"Away from me."

"Not just from you. From Nat, work, this place." Nick replied. "I just don't know if I can give you what you want. That's what I need to think about, and why I need to get away."

"I understand." He did not really. "When will you leave?"

"Tonight. Don't worry I'll be fine."

"I will always worry about you mon fils."



24/04/96

The next ten days were torture for LaCroix. He missed Nicholas terribly. He could sense from his son that he was more relaxed than he had been in a long time and he was no longer having nightmares, and that pleased him. Nevertheless, he was worried about what he would decide. Finally just before sunrise on the morning of the 24th, he sensed he was coming to the Raven.

LaCroix waited anxiously in the sitting room of his private quarters. Suddenly Nick was in the room staring at him. "If I asked you something would you agree to it?" He had thinking about this for a few days and had decided to get straight to the point.

"That's a rather loaded question."

"Yea. OK will you promise not to get mad at least."

"I'll try."

Nick nodded. "I will stop looking for a cure." LaCroix was overjoyed. "However, if I should come across one and if I still want it, I want you to promise you won't stop me."

"Nicholas, I won't ......."

"I know it's a lot to ask." Nick interrupted. "At the moment, with the way I feel, it's the best I can do."

"Then I shall have to find a way to change how you feel about yourself." LaCroix said. "Shan't I?" Nick went over to him and kissed him hungrily. LaCroix responded with the same ferocity. "Are you really sure this is what you want?"

"Positive." Nick said. "I love you." He smiled happily as he added. "I am in love with you."